Letter To Elder Ian Darcey

Elder Darling Darcey, BROTHER DARCEY

I NOTICED! YOU'VE BEEN OUT A MONTH!!!

Also, my TEN YEAR baptism anniversary is coming up on December 29th. So if I celebrate your month, I expect at very least a plane fly over and fireworks (think of Queen Uberta's 50th).

In direct contrast with Alaska, here in HK the temperature has still not fallen below "slightly sweating," despite the plentiful "X-mas" decorations and light-cicles everywhere. Oh, yes, Christmas is so Christ-less here that

a) I have literally not seen the word "Christmas" anywhere, only X-mas,

b)people literally do not know it has any relation with Jesus Christ--as in, when we meet people who do not recognize the name Yeh Sou Gei Duk we say, "tuhng sing daan jit yauh gwaan" = "he and Christmas are related" and I'm not sure how that translates into normal English but you get the picture.

Unlike you, Elder Dashing, I have not jaahp gwaan (gotten used to) the crazy temperatures so quickly. I still giggle at my companion who, when the weather changed the other day from "blazing hot" to "mildly warm, sometimes with a light coolish breeze" pulled out her winter coat and literally wore three sweaters. I hear it gets pretty cold later... but I'm still waiting. Meanwhile, all the members at church are blown away when I'm walking around in short sleeves--"AREN'T YOU FREEZING?!" Um. It's 65 degrees out. They've also started frantically rubbing lotion on anything that sits still long enough, despite the 40% humidity, "it's so dry!!" aaahhhh I love it here.

Yes, also in contrast with you, Elder Dangerous, the food experience is entirely unlike steak. The most recent experience was pig front leg and ranks up there with crab dung (you didn't think crabs HAD dung, did you? YOU WERE WRONG) as one of the most... awesome. We were at a home where the mom had just had a baby, so they had us "try" (stuffed us until we begged for deliverance) the traditional Chinese post-birth dish: ginger and pig "hand". They boil it for a MONTH. Not exaggerating. Then they get it out 12 days after baby is born and mom and friends dig in--it apparently has lots of nutrients etc good for women, so the poh poh of the family made me eat about 15x as much as the Elders. It was so hilarious. The best way I can explain it was... picture a swamp. Skim the slime off the top. Then marinate a pig's foot (don't bother skinning or even washing it first) in swamp slime for a month. After that it kinda resembles... well, maybe the best way to explain... to eat it, you have to suck all the skin and slime off, then gnaw off the meat, crack the bone in half and suck the marrow out. Make sure you roll everything around in your mouth thoroughly before you swallow each time in case you missed some cartilage!

I love China. Elder Darcey, be the best you can there. Love forever, sister Sister Darcey