Mango Pudding , Turnip and Ginger Paste Rice Cake

YUP! Best Birthday Ever!

Other birthday joyful surprises:

A,

The day itself, since I forgot multiple times that it was coming up AND even on the day itself (I remembered in my morning prayer to ask that we'd find time to write weekly reports since it was Monday and I'd forgotten to plan time for
it the night before--so I totally forgot that I was now 22 ha ha).

B,

The day before, Sunday at church this kind member Brother S. (who went with us to visit C. last last Wednesday because she lives close to his house) (more on him--2nd counselor in the bishopric, got married 8 years ago and they just had a baby)

...anyway, he gave me a brown paper sack and said, this is from my wife! I found, folded neatly but with no ribbons, card, or anything, the most beautiful dress I've ever seen. It's 3/4 length sleeve, comes to right below the knee and is gold and pink, incredibly heavy fabric--traditional Chinese style, with a high collar and everything. Mom, you could describe it with all the designer lingo. It is gorgeous and fits perfectly (I'm almost back to normal, too!)--and his wife handmade it for me. It's even lined.

WOW! I saw her in Sacrament and told her it was my birthday the next day and we just about started bawling together. She said she didn't know why but she felt like she had to have it done that week, and so hurried and didn't measure me but just guessed. It was a pretty miraculous tender mercy and the Lord knows it meant a lot to me.

It's definitely the most beautiful dress I've ever been given. I might wear it for Chinese New Year this Sunday... And no, I don't have a picture because this computer doesn't have a plug-in. It's OK, I'll send more next week.

We also met some great people finding on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, and baby Sister C. is AMAZING. She's SO willing to try and fail and try again and she musters up so much courage. It's so wonderful. Sometimes I really do feel like... like a mother cat or something. Kitten's like running over there and over there and jumping
on Mom and climbing trees and playground equipment and talking to everyone and Mom's got this half-interested, half-closed eyes kind of bemused face on. The enthusiasm is exhausting.

Oh man, I love her so much. She's helping me have so much more hope. We also met the sketchiest man yesterday---picture us all sitting down on a park bench with a bar in between us and him and as the lesson goes on, me and sister cook scooting over and over and over until she's perched on the edge of the bench, I'm sitting practically on her
lap and the sketchy 60 odd year old is leaning over the bar and reaching for the scriptures my lap and asking if I'd ever
been to Paris, the city of love and if I had plans for Valentines Day.

YIKES! It was pretty hilarious, we BOOKED it out of there. No worries, we always stay where there are tons of people, always have the Spirit with us to protect and warn us and I'm pretty sure us 2 big white girls have ten inches on, and could take at least 5 Asian men (we'd weigh more than them, anyway); it was just HILARIOUS.

The best birthday-week miracle was finally finding my answer. It was not at the pyschiatrist, who is a very very nice man who told me that I'm not depressed (I knew that...). He labeled me a perfectionist (guilty sometimes, I'm sure, but this is a different problem, I know it is,) and gave me some various church talks that didn't help.

The Spirit just wasn't in those answers. BUT then I was reading the Liahona yesterday and I found it. I've reached for many false peaks in scriptures study, prayer, conversations, blessings etc. through this particular issue and the frustration from that has been mounting for months. But I think those trials and experiences have all worked together to help me define the heart of the problem.

I was lost to hope--Hope defined in Preach My Gospel as the faith that God will keep his promises. I was lost like in Psalms-- because it kept seeming like God wasn't keeping the promises I needed. I was doing my part!

Since in my deepest of testimony I knew that He keeps all His promises-- because he is perfect, the problem MUST be that I wasn't achieving or doing enough. So I ran myself ragged and ended up with even less hope and a mounting

frustration and anger and feeling of failure.

I found the answer and Mom's gonna have to look it up and post it here. It was the last column of Elder Cook's talk in the Liahona about "look up" and starts with him talking about unanswered prayers on their mission in New Zealand. POst it here, OK?

Stand by Your Post

When our family was living in New Zealand, we sometimes became overwhelmed by the number of challenges that investigators, recent converts, missionaries, and others were experiencing. We often found ourselves praying for answers—and expecting to receive them quickly!

All of us are in need of help. And sometimes the solutions we seek do come quickly. But other times they come in ways other than we had hoped. Or they come later than we expected. And occasionally, it seems, they’re not coming at all.

In such cases, adopt the attitude of “stand by your post” until the Lord sends some help, however long that takes. But standing by your post doesn’t mean standing still. As I mentioned, don’t be afraid to act. Keep doing good things. Keep obeying the commandments. Keep praying and studying and doing your best until you receive additional direction. Don’t abandon your post. In His time the Lord will allow all things to work out for your good.

“Looking up” has blessed my life over and over since my experience in the Language Training Mission. As Mormon explains in Helaman 3:27, “The Lord is merciful unto all who will, in the sincerity of their hearts, call upon his holy name.” I have felt and experienced His mercy and love. I know His mercy will come to all of us as we believe and call upon His name.

The entire talk spoke of the challenges for all of us to stop looking sideways to see how others are viewing us, but look up to see how Heavenly Father sees us. While I've never really worried what anyone else thinks, I do rely heavily on the Lord's approval of my efforts and I've always felt His approval in my life. But on a mission, facing constant, repeated failure, it is easy to despair.

All I needed to hear was to "STAND BY YOUR POST", keep heading in the right direction and it's OK. Trust God and keep working. Elder Darcey's admonition to LEAVE it to the Lord's Time, came at just the right moment.

I have so much peace in writing those sentences, I can't even explain. I'm so grateful God gives us answers--that He inspires prophets, that He inspires us all with the Peace of Christ.

Love always and hope, yes HOPE for tomorrow,

Sister Darcey

Also trying black sesame for my hair, wooot!!