New Years and Rice Balls

Dear Family

I'm so glad you got to see Sis. L's facebook photos of us at her New Years Dinner. China is pretty crazy about New Years!

Yup, Sister L is HILARIOUS and a firecracker. Kinda scary, actually, but in a good way. And she commanded we come over for new years. --yeech chinglishh-- SO funny. She has a missionary in DC right now (she reminds me alot of beautiful Sister Ramsey, actually...) and firmly believes that what goes around comes around--if she takes care of us, her baby boy in DC will be taken care of, too HAAA ;D

My new companion, Sister C and I are doing great and seeing miracles every day. She is probably the best thing the Lord could have given me because she is so funny and strong in the gospel. She supports me and keeps me grounded and reminds me anew of the purpose of the work. This week was so weird since it was NEW YEARS and everyone works so hard and prepares so long to usher in the new year. The decorations are crazy! And there are so many superstitions surrounding it.

[Aidan's part of the email:

1. No working on the holiday. Whatever you are doing on that day will be what you do the rest of the year and no one wants to get stuck cooking or cleaning.
2. No cutting anything with knives or you will cut your good fortune so fish (carp) and noodles are cooked long and whole.
3. Clean all week, sweeping away bad luck and no sweeping on New Years--can't sweep away good luck.

That's the end of Aidan's Chinese New Year presentation--"And I didn't get a D, Mom"] Back to Dia's letter:

So we did deep cleaning and went to Big Buddha. And Pres C. came up to me at Big Buddha Tuesday

(he really is so, so aware and worried about me) and shook my hand for like 10 minutes asking if I was OK.

AND Dr. H. called on Friday and had me do a hair pull test (what a waste of 12 hairs! SO funny) and talked about other stuff. He also asked in kind of a tired voice if, honestly, my mom was more worried about this than I was. I said... "Um, No, I like having hair. It's actually pretty worrisome. (I think he's very used to dealing with freaked-out

mothers).

So we're getting things worked out, no worries!!! ANd President C--probably don't need to email them again anytime soon because now pretty much the entire mission is freaking out about me... it's kinda funny and sad at the same time, not to mention embarrassing, but mostly just funny :D And I'll get through.

I'm thinking it would be a good idea to chop my hair? Honestly it's starting to look kinda odd, not because of any bald spots but because it's just really wispy and thin. It I cut if short/bobbed it might hide the fact it's so thin and I'd probably touch it less... I am thankful for everyone of my family's encouragements about loving me and not just my hair. It's so much a part of my identity--especially here, where for the past ten months I've heard at least one comment about it every single day--and I know the dangers of pride--I'm working on it!

I love you all, no worries and I'm working on remembering the joy in the work--Sister D

Mango Pudding , Turnip and Ginger Paste Rice Cake

YUP! Best Birthday Ever!

Other birthday joyful surprises:

A,

The day itself, since I forgot multiple times that it was coming up AND even on the day itself (I remembered in my morning prayer to ask that we'd find time to write weekly reports since it was Monday and I'd forgotten to plan time for
it the night before--so I totally forgot that I was now 22 ha ha).

B,

The day before, Sunday at church this kind member Brother S. (who went with us to visit C. last last Wednesday because she lives close to his house) (more on him--2nd counselor in the bishopric, got married 8 years ago and they just had a baby)

...anyway, he gave me a brown paper sack and said, this is from my wife! I found, folded neatly but with no ribbons, card, or anything, the most beautiful dress I've ever seen. It's 3/4 length sleeve, comes to right below the knee and is gold and pink, incredibly heavy fabric--traditional Chinese style, with a high collar and everything. Mom, you could describe it with all the designer lingo. It is gorgeous and fits perfectly (I'm almost back to normal, too!)--and his wife handmade it for me. It's even lined.

WOW! I saw her in Sacrament and told her it was my birthday the next day and we just about started bawling together. She said she didn't know why but she felt like she had to have it done that week, and so hurried and didn't measure me but just guessed. It was a pretty miraculous tender mercy and the Lord knows it meant a lot to me.

It's definitely the most beautiful dress I've ever been given. I might wear it for Chinese New Year this Sunday... And no, I don't have a picture because this computer doesn't have a plug-in. It's OK, I'll send more next week.

We also met some great people finding on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, and baby Sister C. is AMAZING. She's SO willing to try and fail and try again and she musters up so much courage. It's so wonderful. Sometimes I really do feel like... like a mother cat or something. Kitten's like running over there and over there and jumping
on Mom and climbing trees and playground equipment and talking to everyone and Mom's got this half-interested, half-closed eyes kind of bemused face on. The enthusiasm is exhausting.

Oh man, I love her so much. She's helping me have so much more hope. We also met the sketchiest man yesterday---picture us all sitting down on a park bench with a bar in between us and him and as the lesson goes on, me and sister cook scooting over and over and over until she's perched on the edge of the bench, I'm sitting practically on her
lap and the sketchy 60 odd year old is leaning over the bar and reaching for the scriptures my lap and asking if I'd ever
been to Paris, the city of love and if I had plans for Valentines Day.

YIKES! It was pretty hilarious, we BOOKED it out of there. No worries, we always stay where there are tons of people, always have the Spirit with us to protect and warn us and I'm pretty sure us 2 big white girls have ten inches on, and could take at least 5 Asian men (we'd weigh more than them, anyway); it was just HILARIOUS.

The best birthday-week miracle was finally finding my answer. It was not at the pyschiatrist, who is a very very nice man who told me that I'm not depressed (I knew that...). He labeled me a perfectionist (guilty sometimes, I'm sure, but this is a different problem, I know it is,) and gave me some various church talks that didn't help.

The Spirit just wasn't in those answers. BUT then I was reading the Liahona yesterday and I found it. I've reached for many false peaks in scriptures study, prayer, conversations, blessings etc. through this particular issue and the frustration from that has been mounting for months. But I think those trials and experiences have all worked together to help me define the heart of the problem.

I was lost to hope--Hope defined in Preach My Gospel as the faith that God will keep his promises. I was lost like in Psalms-- because it kept seeming like God wasn't keeping the promises I needed. I was doing my part!

Since in my deepest of testimony I knew that He keeps all His promises-- because he is perfect, the problem MUST be that I wasn't achieving or doing enough. So I ran myself ragged and ended up with even less hope and a mounting

frustration and anger and feeling of failure.

I found the answer and Mom's gonna have to look it up and post it here. It was the last column of Elder Cook's talk in the Liahona about "look up" and starts with him talking about unanswered prayers on their mission in New Zealand. POst it here, OK?

Stand by Your Post

When our family was living in New Zealand, we sometimes became overwhelmed by the number of challenges that investigators, recent converts, missionaries, and others were experiencing. We often found ourselves praying for answers—and expecting to receive them quickly!

All of us are in need of help. And sometimes the solutions we seek do come quickly. But other times they come in ways other than we had hoped. Or they come later than we expected. And occasionally, it seems, they’re not coming at all.

In such cases, adopt the attitude of “stand by your post” until the Lord sends some help, however long that takes. But standing by your post doesn’t mean standing still. As I mentioned, don’t be afraid to act. Keep doing good things. Keep obeying the commandments. Keep praying and studying and doing your best until you receive additional direction. Don’t abandon your post. In His time the Lord will allow all things to work out for your good.

“Looking up” has blessed my life over and over since my experience in the Language Training Mission. As Mormon explains in Helaman 3:27, “The Lord is merciful unto all who will, in the sincerity of their hearts, call upon his holy name.” I have felt and experienced His mercy and love. I know His mercy will come to all of us as we believe and call upon His name.

The entire talk spoke of the challenges for all of us to stop looking sideways to see how others are viewing us, but look up to see how Heavenly Father sees us. While I've never really worried what anyone else thinks, I do rely heavily on the Lord's approval of my efforts and I've always felt His approval in my life. But on a mission, facing constant, repeated failure, it is easy to despair.

All I needed to hear was to "STAND BY YOUR POST", keep heading in the right direction and it's OK. Trust God and keep working. Elder Darcey's admonition to LEAVE it to the Lord's Time, came at just the right moment.

I have so much peace in writing those sentences, I can't even explain. I'm so grateful God gives us answers--that He inspires prophets, that He inspires us all with the Peace of Christ.

Love always and hope, yes HOPE for tomorrow,

Sister Darcey

Also trying black sesame for my hair, wooot!!

Happy Baby Day!

Wow, God is so amazing.

I BLEW through my record number of inbox emails (sorry, all, for not spending more time with your thoughtful and wonderful messages!!)
because I have so much to express now (still only have 15 minutes left...).

I am losing it this week. I mean, really, really losing it. By Saturday morning I broke down and called Sister C (President's wife) about my hair because it's been getting so much worse. Combing my hair, showering, it all is kinda scary because my hair is really falling out. Kind of a trying-not-to-panic-funny kind of scary. Sister C was so wonderful about it--I'd run my hands through my hair and hold up handfuls that had come out, and then she'd do the same thing to my head (but not actually touch fingers to hair) and hold up nothing and say, "See?? The problem isn't with your HAIR, it's with your HANDS." haaaaaa!

Anyway, by Saturday it was kind of not funny anymore. It's been getting worse with my stress level, and led to random spurts of crying in the middle of the day and really horrible mood swings and seriously feeling anxious... all the time. Sister C said it's stress, asked if I wanted to talk to the psychiatrist, I said no (everyone has stress... I just felt dumb for not being able to deal with it) and I got a blessing that day. Elder K basically said in the blessing that I will very soon... have a lot more trials (this is exactly the feeling I got from my patriarchal blessing after re-reading it that day, actually) but that God wanted me to learn to trust him.

I can't even count how many people have told me some variation of, "Just let go, let God take care of it, put it in his hands, stop worrying," but I realized (Thursday morning as I was leaving to get my baby) that I'm losing the ability or clarity of mind or something to prioritize, to leave things to God, to decide what's important and let everything else go. On a mission, especially as senior companion, especially (I was thinking) AS A MOM, I have to take care of everything and everyone. EVERYTHING is urgent, now, important, cannot be dropped... it's seriously making me lose my mind, as in my peace, calm, ability to reason and discern, etc.

I was a little late to the Thursday breakfast to get my baby, and I must admit as I walked by the open door of the cultural hall I considered walking right past it and going back out the door, back onto the train and back to New Territories, telling President C on the phone the next day that I couldn't do this and I was just messing up my area, that I didn't want to go home but I couldn't deal with failing so many people I loved over and over. But I went in (Elder B ushered me in, that awesome sucker) and sat down and I met my baby.

And fell totally in love with her. And the miracles started. It felt like standing in a waterfall. As soon as we got on the train to get her ID, I started talking to a man who, we found out, had been to Salt Lake City, gotten a Book of Mormon, read a little, didn't understand, met with missionaries once but lost contact with them and wanted to find out more about the Book of Mormon. We got him a Book of Mormon pamphlet, more information and a reading assignment and had to get off the train with our heads spinning and the Spirit just overflowing.

We had to go to the airport--kind of a big deal, since I've never been there before and we didn't have a native to help us with directions and I didn't even have a MAP AND it's about 4 hours away by who knows train bus boat whatever. But for some reason I was feeling capable and light and joyful and excited and though my new companion (her name's Sister C, by the way, from Florida, and she is so awesome) kept apologizing for leaving her scriptures on the plane (so we had to go get them at the lost and found) I didn't even think about what a mah faahn (bother) and potentially disaster it was going to be. It was just exciting and an adventure!!

We were tugging her 50 pound suitcase with us, too--made it all the way to Tsing Yi, then I talked to a MTR employee to try to figure out how to get to the airport. Somehow I immediately understood everything he was explaining, even though he was talking about places I'd never been or heard of, and all REALLY quickly. It was amazing.

The MOST amazing, though, was what happened next--we prayed, because I didn't know where to go and I just

wanted a little peace. As we prayed, I felt we should take the Airport Express--which is crazy, because it costs 60 DOLLARS for ONE STOP EACH PERSON. But as adverse as I am to spending, I felt totally at peace with that decision.

We Got on, and met two girls going to the airport because they were heading back to mainland--and gave them each a Book of Mormon and almost all the pamphlets we had. They were searching for Christ, and we got to be a little part in introducing them to Him.

Amazing, I'm so grateful, I'm so humbled. I love this companion and I'm so excited for this challenge. I'm trying to put it all back in God's hands. Pray, pray, pray.

Love, all

Sister Darcey

Happiest of January Birthdays--Cousin Jon, Elizabeth, Jay, Spencer, Grandma B and Me!

Saang Yaht Faai Lohk!

Oh and Cousin Derick!!! Happy Birthday younger cousin by 10 days! Oh and good gravy, I checked my birthday calendar and found two more cousins with birthdays in January, Connor and Hayden! Happy Birthday!!! Oh and TWO MORE Cousins, Jaxon and Steven Mitchell! COUSINS BY THE BOATLOAD! Family, I love Family.

And by the way, the family Christmas photo? 60 people? WOW no kidding, talk about exactly the same--I had to look at the EVERYBODY picture like 3 times to make sure you didn't just send me the one from last year with me and Ian and stuff. HA!

--------------------------------------------

Well, 14 emails in my inbox and feasting on the words of family has left me with only 4 minutes to email. Oops.

Well, if there's one thing to report from this week, it's that God really does love us. This week we wanted to find FIVE new investigators because we lost a couple of our best finds and friends---C (moved to TSW so will get baptized there on January 15th), KM (returned to mainland--WITH A BOOK OF MORMON yeeeees) and W (whose parents are REALLY anti).

So Monday we went prayed and went finding and failed MARVELOUSLY. I mean, really. I don't think anyone talked to me for longer than 15 seconds--and I'm BLONDE. Monday night was one of those soggy pillow snotty head wake up with a headache (Nephi puts it so much more poetically in 2 Nephi 4, no?) nights.

BUT Tuesday and Wednesday--after deciding to buck up and get some faith, sisters!--every time we stepped out the door it felt like we were passing out fliers and writing down numbers and even preaching truth and challenging to read the BOM like CRAZY. It was really amazing--God really is walking with us and suffering at our tears and waiting to bless us. I felt pretty silly, actually, like God was saying, "Hey, didn't you trust me?" like Peter walking on water, right...?

[I remember Bishop Anderson making a goal to pass out lots of Books of Mormon and how the first day he met with such terrible resistance that he wanted to quit. Instead he persevered and from day two onward was able to place a whole case in a month. Satan is a force to be challenged and we must press pass that.]

So trust Him--the Lord--this week! And use just a little more faith to be a little kinder and more patient and hard working, to smile more and endure more and breathe more and let it go.

Pray for C who's in the hospital so we're going to go visit today (back to Shatin, weird). She'll be OK but things are super hard right now.

Did I tell you I.I. CALLED US!!! Such a small thing, but a HUGE miracle to me. I know, you don't remember I.I. Just accept it, it's a huge miracle.

Thanks for the Vegas photos. WOW looks so fun! DANIKA WENT BLONDE wow. And Jon looks a lot like Aidan to me. Everyone here in china would scream LENG JAI when they saw this picture of him--like my companion just did... You people going tourist with fake mustaches are so awesome! I'm so thankful my family is so funny....

________________________

Excerpt from Elder Darcey's letter:

Hey Elder Darcey, I thought the world wasn't supposed to

end until the end of 2012?

Here in HK we celebrated New Year's by counting down as a zone (on the phone) to 10:55 PM January 31st 2011. Then we all obediently went to sleep ha.

I should tell you about one of our slow investigators who was actually making some neat progress that we didn't know about until she called us to say she's going back to mainland but wants to take a Book of Mormon back because she's been praying every night at exactly 8 pm I have no idea why she thinks she has to pray at eight.... Elder Darcey, I should tell you, but I just told you. Her name is C K M--actually, kai ma means "godmother" basically, and I have serious fears that if I don't visit her in mainland she will slay my spirit when we all end up in the spirit world together. Seriously, she wants us to visit her so bad, it's hilarious. She wants me to get married quickly and bring all my babies for her to bless.

HILARIOUS po po... anyway.

YAY FOR RE-ACTIVATION!!! Seriously so amazing. We're been working with one for about 13 weeks who might come back to church THIS WEEK and then her two little boys would get baptized Missionaries 3 Satan 0 yes.

Love you, handsome face. Don't let those Alaskan girls look at you too long. I'd watch out for any female grizzly bears, too.
Love always,
Sis SISTER Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarcey

__________________________

Back to Oklahoma letter:

Anyway, I'm doing great. The holidays were good, except for the disappointments of no baptisms and no one at church--but I'm working on faith. The basic, no-fanciness, foundational "you-keep-working-when-you-can't-see-the-results-yet" kind of faith.

And this week the results have been AMAZING.

Mom, next package--I feel so guilty giving you a list, but I figured you would rather have one than no idea what to send--GF oatmeal, Jello-pudding (not because I want to eat it--we need it for an activity and it's impossible to find here) and those hangy sticker things you use to hang pictures or bags in college dorms. They're red and yellow packaging.

Love y'all.

Sister Dia D