I Just Met A Man Who Believes Jesus Was Buddist

PEOPLE Are Awesome!!!!!

I just received the most happiness that's ever come in box form--packages from Atkinsons AND my Darcey fam. on the SAME DAY! OK, the calendar was definitely the highlight of the Darcey package (followed closely by ADORABLE purple sweater--never worn by anyone else, what a novelty!--wait, just realized that Mom probably got it from goodwill= so YES it was worn by someone else before. Haaa, my life comes full circle...).

Back to the calendar! I can't decide if my favorite aspect of it was the adorable hand-made-d-ness/yarn connectors and taped together pages, or the HILARIOUS pictures of my goofy family in Disneyland or the depressing factor that while joyfully sharing all those cute pictures with my companion, she looked at me and, with HK typical ...Chinese clarity,
asked, "Hey, in all these pictures you look so cute, skinny and young. What happened?" HAAAAAAAA. So... true... and depressing.... But whatever. It's the trauma of 50 years of service crammed into (what am I on now...) 10 months, that's what happened!!! And I'd never go back.

AND no worries, because I now am equipped with an arsenal of vitamins that I'm sure could take the hide off a horse or put it back on again or whatever they're supposed to do. Good thing I lost my gag reflex years ago trying Mom's cooking mistakes (just KIDDING JUST KIDDING IT'S A JOKE!) but seriously, why don't I have a gag reflex? I have a good feeling it'd sometimes come in handy here in HK, but then again maybe it's a blessing. It ALL just goes down, bones and hair and fat and gristle and all MMmmmmMMMM is Cami excited for chicken feet yet?

Speaking of Camikins, as usual, she put together the best package this side of the Atlantic (um...Pacific...?) ocean---forcing I mean encouraging everyone to write letters and sending just the right amount of useless junk I mean adorable hilarity such as TAMMY THE T-REX bwahahahaaaa. So, first of all, I

should have recorded the shrieks of joy that emitted as Tammy hatched from his Christmas wrappings-shell. HE'S SO CUTE! And is now Tin Gai's new best friend. But, the very next morning (made in china...) as I was taking off his tag, tragedy struck. That's right, his arm fell off. Yes, Tammy the T-rex was taken out. BUT no worries! I quickly performed surgery, and now, as you can see in this picture, he is bravely wearing the cast of battle... or whatever. My English is um.

I will tell you about all my other Christmas (birthday...) goodies contained in my packages later! When I open them! (we seriously are so rushed as missionaries. It's so good--so busy, so not wasting time!--but does lead to things like I still haven't really gone through the packages! tee hee).

Thanks to the Tuia's and another sweet lady from BA who sent me beautiful Christmas messages! You are so good to write me--and especially to tell me a little about my family in the ward!! It's the best Christmas gift ever to missionaries.

I'm also immensely grateful for Sister B and Cindy T's emails! They make me smile! I so want more time to be able to write back to them, but meanwhile, they should know that I love them so much. And Sister B's gonna be a grandma!

Yeah, I'm having a "baby"---my next companion will be a new missionary, fresh from Provo Utah, right off the plane. Plain. (that was for Sister F, who wrote "plaine" on her Christmas present to me of plain caramel popcorn. So depressing; our English is ... yeah.) Anyway, baby! I'm a little terrified. But mostly, surprisingly, OK with it-- despite the fact that I feel like with a new missionary my area has to be perfect and my Chinese needs to be perfect and my
planning needs to improve quickly and etc etc etc.

In the end, as I think back to my training experience, the only thing that REALLY matters is that I teach her to be absolutely diligent and exactly obedient--everything else will come as she goes. No worries!

I wanted to share my "sharing" on planning that I gave yesterday at leadership training meeting (1/2 of the mission was there, I swear--it was a big deal. And really intense--I feel like my talks end up a lot like MOm's. Talking a mile a minute and calling everyone especially me to repentance and everyone taking about 30 minutes afterward of
silence... yeah, it was crazy.) I had planned on a couple humor breaks to kinda give everyone a break from the intensity what are those called in movies... humorous relief? Anyway, they didn't work out. You coulda heard a pin drop...

If I could share one thing from it that applies to EVERYONE, it's this: Reconnect the purpose in your
life with the PLANS for your life. If you rely on revelation as part of the planning, you can have a part in making God's great plan of redemption a reality in the lives of others. Otherwise, your plans--however detailed and clear they may be--end up meaningless.

Isn't it funny how often our life goals and dreams seem to have nothing to do with our daily activities? If we can reconnect these things--our plans and our purpose--a little bit more through daily revelation, review and repentance, we will recognize the beauty of living each day unto itself. God wants us to find joy in the journey, and we can do
that through remembering the WHY of each step. This is my (American) New Year's wish for all!

Love you, thank you so much for your faith and your confidence---

Sister Darcey

Okay, I'm Gonna Kill Him

Here is Sister Darcey's pre-Holiday letter sent in response to her missionary brother's email about his trials. Unfortunately, Hong Kong has a 24 hour lag time so she had no way of knowing he was not referring to coming home, but something else all together. I think that at this time it was a blessing that there are 5078 miles between the two of them--it kept Bro. Darcey from being strangled by his dear sister.

In her Christmas phone call she mentioned that this letter had some great heartfelt truths that are still valid, so Sis. Darcey recommends that it be posted here. And so that 18 months from now, when she sees him again, she will still remember to strangle her brother.

Dear Elder Darcey,

Adam failed that man might be--Nephi failed in the first directive to his family so the Lord could show his hand to them. In the old testament it didn't take one plague, it took twelve--and the Bible is full of failures that the dear Lord uses to prove His hand in all. The D&C is full of Joseph Smith's failures--and finally and most importantly, Jesus Christ "failed" so He could rise on the third day.

I want you to know that I have failed here like I have never failed anywhere before. I don't mean little failure, I mean big and glaring and eternal as well as stupid, repeated, prideful, stubborn and over and over and over failure. I've failed for months on end, indeed, I've failed so much I'm getting good at failing.

Once I wrote in my journal, "I feel like my mission could be subtitled: My mission: A failure in 12 transfers". I cannot explain to you the gravity and depth of the insufficiency and ignorance and FAILURE I've experienced and yes, even caused (remember the lost key thing.)

Failure on a mission is constant, because it is a full time calling. Even being a mom or a dad you can take a break and lock yourself into the bedroom for 5 minutes. Being the CEO of the biggest company in the world is monetary, and not a failure like this--even failure by the President of the U.S. is temporal and may not be as lasting or as eternal as failure to reach the souls God entrusts to you.

The missionary's ability to fail is CONSTANT and it's terrifying. And for me, Sister DIA Darcey-- a type A "success," who gets A's and gold metals and certificates and pats on the head and doesn't DO failure--for me this mission experience has been the hardest thing in my life. That is: To accept that I fail. I have failed and I continue to fail. I have seen the depths of depravity, anguish, hell---and it's in my own head. And it is only because I have failed that I can testify so strongly of Christ's Atonement.

It isn't something shiny or cushy waiting at the top of the ladder of successes or the staircase of progression. The success doesn't happen on the way up, but the only time we get to feel of His atonement is as we fall--while we are in the midst of Fail ING. He isn't waiting for us to make it halfway until we're exhausted. He is pulling with us INSIDE our failure. I can't even say how amazing this is to me, and, since it is so amazing, how very little I fully realize it.

I doesn't help to learn about or theorize or even read all the scriptures about the Atonement. True understanding comes when I look into my soul and see deficiency and even despair. I look into my own and see years of
false expectations and the tartar of built up pride and the seething mass of real and terrifying malice.

I am failing as a missionary, I know I am. I am terrified every time I think about going home and looking back and wondering what I spent this time, money and anguish on. But. Faith is not a perfect knowledge of things--it is a hope. As in, faith is NOT what you see now. Faith is not success, it is failure. It is FAILING yet still hoping. It is NOT losing hope and NOT going home. It is seeing miracles and believing in God's call and HIS power. If I've learned anything on my mission, it's that I'm not here---not even in HK, I mean on EARTH--to be strong.

I'm not here to do good merely because it feels good because while that works for a while, what keeps me doing good things when it no longer feels good is feeling God.

I'm here to gain a living witness that God works with weak things. Can I explain that better? When God makes weak things strong, he starts with weak things. OK, YOU'RE NOT MEANT TO SUCCEED AT ONCE. Apparently--as I've been looking back--some missionaries are not even meant to succeed ever. But God's work will succeed. God has already won the war. He invites us to stand in awe and recognize His salvation, He invites us to work our hardest and then FAIL. For then He can succeed in bringing souls to Him. Even if it's just my soul.

Let me make this more concrete for you. I've seen four baptisms on my mission (in 10 months so far). I have had a part in two of them. I have had a major part in ZERO. Let me make it even clearer: if I was not here, working my hardest, praying my heart out, failing every single day, THESE PEOPLE WOULD HAVE STILL BEEN BAPTIZED. I can't say that absolutely, no, but it's pretty dang sure. They were member referrals, they wanted to get baptized, God had led their path and their way and I had nothing to do with it.

They were so ready for Christ that a rock could've taught them the lessons. So WHY WHY WHY WHY am I still here being useless? Failing, failing, failing over and over? Because I love seeing God's hand. Because I love being the "rock"---the one who sits there and stumbles over lessons and messes up and boasts in self and then gets
humiliated again and then just sits there in awe while he works His miracle.

But most of all, I am still here because I trust in his promises--

Isaiah 41, 1 Nephi 21 and 22. As I say (21:4) I have labored in vain, I have spent my strength for naught and for vain-- (21:5) and now saith the Lord, THOUGH ISRAEL BE NOT GATHERED, yet I shall be glorious in the eyes of my Lord, and my God shall be my strength. Verse 18-- Lift up thine eyes round about and BEHOLD all these that gather themselves together. D&C 6, These are the multitudes that are blessed by my daily failure.

Know that I love you. I love you and I will love you forever and I know God wants you to fulfill your calling. I know He has great things in store for you and our family. So keep holding on and stand strong in the faith. Yours always--a sister in Christ and in blood!

Sister Darcey, Dia.

Oh There's No Place Like Home for the Holidays!

No, no, stop flipping out, I'm not coming home.

Gam yeung (I feel like that) because I'm back in Mong Kok emailing ( and we're going to the temple today at 11 in KlnTong) and everytime I come back to the beautiful, smelly, Mong Kok East train station it seriously feels like coming home!! I get all nostalgic and sniffly (though it may just be the pollution...).

This week was ...testing prep :P. When Chinese KIDS have testing, the whole world stops. Moms, Dads, GRANDPARENTS, no matter how old you are (starts at 3!!! NOT KIDDING) everyone is mhdaakhaahn. Which is
actually OK--we have worked a lot at getting records corrected and consolidated, which will really REALLY help us meet and strengthen more members and less actives = get more referrals= make more eternal
families yes! We also got to do some finding, which is always fun.

This week (Tuesday and Wednesday) when we went to find we picked a Book of Mormon scripture to share first. Tuesday's was Helaman 14:13 and Wednesday's was 3 Nephi 11:38. Both were REALLY neat experiences.
I can really, really testify of the reality of the "experiment"--I'd been promised by the APs that if we shared more from the BOM we would find more investigators and have more progress, basically that Satan would be bound by the power of that book. (I don't know if I've made it clear, but I've really felt that in this area, Satan is running
amuck.

Maybe it has to do with the affluence or the more severe kind of idolatry or Satan worship that more people do out here in the heung hah (country) but it's really different that Tai Wai or Sha Tin. Sometimes it really is scary when I consider how young and dumb I am compared to the power of the adversary--really interesting experience. Only when we really see our own powerlessness, I think, do we learn how much we really REALLY do need to rely on God--see Moses 1.) So we tried it--even though before we've had days of finding for hours with no one who would talk to us for more than 15 seconds, much less listen to us read a scripture--we prayerfully picked a scripture and then prayed for
opportunities to share it. AND (wordly kind of cool, now) I could read them. Not quickly, but I could--which led to such funny and special experiences! People would say (like always...) "Your Chinese is so good!" and I'd say, "Naaaaaah--but hey! I just learned how to read this scripture, can I share it with you!" and it was so awesome. We really did find more prepared people (one man whose door we knocked on--interaction was gam yeung: "Jesus? Hey, can I come to church? OK, I will come on Sunday. Are there boy missionaries who can visit me here? Yes? Good. OK, goodbye." haaa) and awesomely got to open and read from the scriptures more and more and more. So fun.

Haaa, another funny random thing: whenever I read with people (happens a lot when I read out loud waiting for a train or a bus) people start talking to me in Mandarin. WHY? I have no idea. Actually, I don't have any, but then I asked my second half Sister Chan and she knew: if HK people hear you speaking Cantonese, they think you're smart. If HK
people see you READING Cantonese, they think you also speak Mandarin.

I ... don't see the relationship, but it's led to a lot of hilarity and mhsicteng-ing in the past couple days.

In other news, my hair is falling out. Woot! Yes, I've been wondering about it for a while, because though I've always been a heavy shedder (that sounds like a great name for a rock band) (in Sister Black's words... "You shed like a panda..."), it's been a little more than heavy lately. Then last night when I took out my hair a goodly chunk

came with it. Super fun! The buhn deihs (native HK ren) are convinced it's the water or the weather. I'm pretty sure it's related to celiac disease or stress, but whatever. I'll be more careful about GF, pray about it and get a blessing if it gets worse and I'm sure it'll be fine. Who needs hair, anyways?

(I'm itching to write a version of "Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair" about "Baahk Ji Muih mouh tauh faat" in
Chinese, but since no one but mb Sister Black would understand it AND it would probably take the rest of emailing time, I will refrain).

Dad would love HK--every single apartment complex has EVERY kind of recycling right at the base. I mean, all kinds. Mom would love HK--the poh poh "exercises" (basically consists of slapping your arms and legs, doing silly dances and --most important--exercising your jaw as you babble to your neighbors who are out there with you every
morning--are right up her alley.

Can I just say how unfair it is that Ian can email sabeybaby2@whatever and I can't... hilarious. On Monday I got 4 letters AND a package---which had Brother Sabey's old CHARACTER WRITING MANUAL! I'm rejuvenated and reenergized to actually progress in my Chinese--mostly because I've been recentered on the importance of
continuing to progress AND we now have "assigned" passoff lessons every Monday after district meeting. So, you have to "test" your Chinese, whether you're ready or not. It's really been good.

Oh, hilarious experience Monday when we talked to a girl who was crying on the MTR stairs, shared a scripture, prayed with her, she was smiling and our hearts were glowing by the time we left to walk to church--then 3 hours later when we came back to go home she was still there, now REALLY smiling--overjoyed, really-- which MAY have been related to the fact that she was surrounded by about 5 empty beer cans. SO FUNNY.

Yeah, we do what we can, and God really does strengthen our efforts, rejoice in our victories and patiently counsel us on how to do better. Sometimes I really do feel like I'm a toddler thinking I'm up to my own business and he's following me around keeping me from falling down the stairs and picking up my messes, waiting patiently for me to ask
for help...

I love you all so much! Your letters are as always, so inspiring and uplifting! I am so thankful for your love for me and of Christ, your prayers and your patience and your testimony. Yes, you.

We're going to go BBQ with C today at her house! Oh, and I finally saw the Christmas devotional on Sunday night! ...in Chinese!

I love you!!
Sister D

Sister Chan Loves the Word Lavatory

...but she doesn't know how to use it, which has led to some pretty amusing quotes this past week. For example:

"Sister Darcey--"
"Yes?"
"I want to bathroom."
"Sister Chan, we don't say it like that in English--"
"OH, haih wo! I want to LAVATORY."

or how about this one,

"Baahk Ji Muih, I need to lavatory."
"Chan Ji Muih, no, it's 'I need to GO to the bathroom--'"
"LAVATORY, la!!"
"OK, fine, I need to go to the lav--"
"I NEED TO GO LAVATORY, shi bu shi?"

OH, Betsy! I basically laugh all day, every day, non-stop, it's so awesome.

On Monday in zone meeting each person shared "the REAL reason you came on a mission" and it was pretty amazing. We did it to grow in unity as a "zone family" and to exercise our memory muscle--it's important to remember the WHY of the gospel (and your mission, and life, with Christmas, and everything) because it provides "free motivation for the work." By that I mean:

You either can force yourself to work in the gospel, or you can merely remember your testimony and how you got here in the first place and then the incentive returns naturally.

Everyone laughed really hard (including me) when I told of my cyclic reasoning.

The story of how Song Hing Daaih (Brian)'s encouragement for me to go on a mission ended my circular justification from:

1. If I "just don't ever date an RM, for sure then I'll get to go." Then I 'accidentally' happened on Song Hing Daaih.
2. "Well, I guess family IS more important. Fine, I've been humbled and I'll get married" to
3. "Whaaat? You don't NEED me?!" "Well then, I Should go on a MISSION?!" to finally realizing the "Why" of a mission,
4. Brian's counsel to put myself aside and imagine the faces and names that the Lord would have me reach--to know and love in China, Hong Kong. It has made every sacrifice more than worth it.

Every person here has an amazing story about WHY they're here--and I'm sure some of their stories go back farther than they are aware.

Carrie got baptized Sunday!--- and Sister Chan's MOTHER showed up. She just didn't know she wasn't allowed to come visit! Sister Chan was BESIDE herself, and I had no idea it was her mom.

It happened during the crazy rushing to find towels, practice with the young man (Priest) who
was going to baptize her (remember LAST time that I had a priest baptize my investigator and she almost drowned SEVEN TIMES. In an effort to prevent my investigators suffering an premature end, was NOT going to repeat that so I made him practice on the Elders this time) and finding something for NaNa to eat on fast Sunday, then Carrie was WALKING INTO THE FONT and this woman showed up and Sister Chan started crying and I was like Sister Chan, we gotta GO, Carrie's getting baptized RIGHT NOW, who even IS this person, we are mhdakhaaahn!].

So, that was crazy. Carrie is amazing, though--her testimony afterward just blew everyone away. It was about how her husband didn't come--though in the beginning he told her he'd support her even though he thought this religion thing was all bunk, Satan just kept working
on him and eventually he was yelling at her about joining an evil church and little NaNa, Carrie's 6 year old SPUNKY daughter, ran downstairs and planted her feet, squared her shoulders, pointed her finger and stated, "Dad, why do you say there's no God?! I KNOW there
is!" It was pretty amazing. Yesterday we had a little time to find and I was given a miracle
lesson. That's just what it was, too--I felt like I was just a ...instrument (touch of the master's hand and something totally ordinary and even worn out, footsore and tired instruments make
miraculous music).

I met Ng Wing Yi, a student on her way home who stopped to talk but didn't "believe very much in this stuff." I just started talking--I don't even know. I really felt like words and ideas and scriptures and inspiration was just pouring out of my mouth, all in almost flawless Chinese (Sister Chan said!) and I was just standing in awe.

The most amazing part was that God really doesn't take away our agency in these moments of heaven-touching-earth---I was saying Chinese words I KNEW and had STUDIED but that sometimes didn't come out right, sharing scriptures I'd READ and LOVED but that sometimes didn't come to mind in the moment I needed them, using teaching skills that I'd SEARCHED and PRACTICED but that sometimes I forgot to really use in a lesson, inviting her to pray with LOVE that I'd DEVELOPED through prayer and service but that sometimes didn't flow in my heart like it did then.

I invited her to pray to find out if God's really there or not. After she prayed, her whole aspect changed. I asked how she felt--and there, on Fung Lin Louh at 5:30 on December 7th 2011,

she told me in a hushed voice, "Peaceful." (Actually, she said "hou jihng" as in "very silent"). I asked if she recognized this as her prayer's answer, and she looked at me just awed, like she'd just walked into St. Paul's cathedral--- "Yes."

She gave me her email (pretty much useless to us right now to contact her) because she knew
her mom wouldn't allow her to contact us--but I felt totally fine even though I knew that she probably wouldn't set up another time to meet us etc because she was just blown away. I don't know how to describe it. She knew God was there and it changed her whole world.

I know God is there and loves us!

Be Happy in this wonderful season,

SIster Darcey